I specialise in the area of conflict management and typically people approach me when they are already experiencing significant levels of conflict which they can see is not sustainable for them or the business. Family relations are already strained between the main protagonists, and the rest of the family is being adversely impacted by this.
In this situation a question that I am often asked is:
‘Do you think we will ever get back to normal – just be able to have dinner together successfully?’
What they are of course really asking is can the conflict be resolved/managed?
The first part of my answer is to explain that conflict in family business is different – it is systemic, not simply a dispute and therefore requires a systemic solution which includes all stakeholders in their various roles. Each dispute is typically part of a larger system connected to and influenced by other disputes and relationship dynamics.
This is why typical non-family business solutions such as dispute resolution and mediation are not effective in managing conflict over time in a family business. The second distinguishing feature of family business conflict is that it is typically identity based. Identity based conflict is generated when any individual or group gets in the way of our attempts to satisfy the needs we identify as core to our purpose in life.
An example of this would be the eldest child having been told that they will take over the family business, but then this not happening or even worse, that role being given to somebody else. This response can be dis-spiriting for them to hear – it is bad enough acknowledging the problem, they just want a speedy simple solution. However, if that was possible then they would have done it themselves, wouldn’t they?
The fact that conflict in family businesses is different means that the normal resolution approaches do not work and a different approach is needed. I explain that I work to a specific framework and use this to identify the factors specific to their situation that reduce the level of conflict and those that increase it.
I then seek to develop a conflict management plan which essentially drills down into the factors that are reducing the level of conflict and seek to maximise these. I then drill down into the factors that are increasing the level of conflict and seek to minimise these as much as possible.
I conclude by saying that this process is neither speedy nor simple and it is certainly not pain free, but no matter how difficult the process may be; it is certainly better than the alternative (doing nothing) which ultimately can lead to broken families and broken businesses.
By Victoria based Family Business Accredited Advisor
Iain Spear
Lead Advisor
Family Business Solutions
