How Do You Have 'That Conversation' Nobody Wants to Start?
Nearly every family in business has at least one: the conversation that’s been avoided for months or years. Succession. Retirement. Strategy. Fairness. Something that matters deeply, and scares everyone a bit.
Yep, it’s hard to begin. It could lead to conflict, upset someone, open a can of worms. But here’s the truth: not having the conversation doesn’t make things better. Silence just lets assumptions harden and tensions build up.
Here’s what I’ve seen work. First, acknowledge that it’s hard. Name the elephant in the room. Then, create space for everyone to be heard without judgement. You might only get part of the way, at first. That’s okay. What matters is that you’ve opened the door.
A family business advisor can help. Not by taking over, but by helping you have the conversations that matter - safely, constructively, and in a way that honours both family and business. Often I’ll talk with everyone individually, listening deeply for the unspoken. Then ideally we’ll convene a “family summit” to get it all on the table.
There may be tears. There may be shouting. But often, what follows is an outpouring of love, and a renewed commitment to work together. It’s kind of magic, and it starts with one step.
By Western Australia based Family Business Accredited Advisor
Iain Massey
CEO at Upland Consulting
