Why unspoken dynamics – not succession planning – are the real threat to family business success
When most family businesses think about long-term risk, their minds go straight to succession.
Who will take over? When? What does the transition look like?
Succession planning has become the default focus of many family business discussions – especially when there is a generational shift on the horizon.
But here is the uncomfortable truth:
Succession is rarely the real issue. It is just the most visible one.
The deeper, more dangerous problems sit underneath the surface – in the everyday dynamics between people, the lack of structure, the unspoken assumptions, the blurred roles, the emotional decisions.
The silent killers of family business
As a Family Business Advisor & Certified EOS Implementer, I work with businesses ranging from 20 to 600 people – often led by two or more generations, with multiple family members in different roles.
Here is what I have seen time & time again:
- A founder who built the business from nothing but now struggles to let go, even as their children step into more leadership
- A next-generation leader full of ideas, energy & potential – but unsure how to navigate the emotional power dynamics with a parent still at the helm
- Long-serving family members who are no longer the right fit for their role – but who cannot be challenged because “that’s just the way it’s always been”
- Non-family team members who feel frustrated, stuck or disengaged because there is a different set of rules depending on your last name
These dynamics do not show up on a Profit & Loss Statement or a Balance Sheet.
But they slowly erode trust, accountability & confidence – often without anyone noticing until it is too late.
In short, it’s not succession that kills a family business. It’s the things no one is willing to say out loud.
Vision, Traction & Healthy – the missing framework
What most family businesses lack is a shared language, a common structure & a consistent way of making decisions.
That’s where EOS – the Entrepreneurial Operating System – changes the game.
EOS is not just about tools. It is about building a business that is strong, sustainable & scalable – without relying on personality, politics or family history to hold it all together.
Here is how EOS helps:
1. Vision
In many family businesses, the vision exists in someone’s head – often the founder. Everyone else is left guessing, assuming or interpreting what that vision means for them.
EOS forces leadership teams to get crystal clear on the long-term direction of the business. We answer eight key questions that define what you do, why you do it, who you do it for & where you are going.
For family businesses, this is transformational. It creates alignment across generations & clarity across family & non-family team members.
2. Traction
Having a vision is not enough. As Gino Wickman says, Vision without Traction is hallucination.
Traction is about execution. We break the vision down into practical priorities (we call them Rocks), scorecards, meetings & accountability. It ensures that the right people are working on the right things – every quarter, every week, every day.
This takes the emotion out of decision-making. It gives the team a way to stay focused, aligned & productive – even when family dynamics threaten to pull things off track.
3. Healthy
Family businesses are often emotionally charged environments. That is not a bad thing – care, loyalty & shared history can be powerful strengths.
But they can also get in the way of healthy conflict, honest conversations & clear roles.
EOS helps leadership teams build trust, communicate better, resolve issues quickly & create a culture of accountability. It turns dysfunction into clarity & conflict into progress.
Why family businesses need EOS more than anyone
Unlike corporates or startups, family businesses have a unique combination of complexity & emotion.
Ownership, family & business are often tangled together – which is why I also use the Harvard 3-Circle Model to help teams see where tension lives & how to untangle it.
Together, EOS & the 3-Circle Model provide the structure, tools & insights that help family businesses:
- Transition leadership smoothly – with clarity, not chaos
- Make decisions based on facts & priorities, not feelings or hierarchy
- Keep the family united while building a commercially successful business
- Create space for new ideas, without disrespecting the legacy
- Build a team that includes the best of both family & non-family leaders
Most importantly, they help families sleep better at night – knowing that the business is not only surviving, but thriving.
Let’s have a real conversation
If any of this resonates, you are not alone. There is no shame in admitting things feel stuck, messy or unclear. What matters is taking the first step to move forward.
Access a free, confidential Family Business Diagnostic session as a member of the FBA community. Learn more at www.businessaction.co.nz
About the Author
Debra Chantry-Taylor is a Certified EOS Implementer, Family Business Advisor & Family 3-Circle Solution Guide. With decades of experience working with family businesses, she helps leadership teams gain clarity, resolve conflict & build sustainable, scalable businesses. Having worked within large family businesses & coached hundreds of entrepreneurs, Debra understands the unique challenges family businesses face – and how to overcome them. Passionate about helping business owners lead better lives, she brings energy, insight & practical tools to every engagement.
Business Action offers structured business coaching programmes, leadership coaching, business masterminds & EOS Implementation by accredited EOS Implementers.
