As a Family Business Advisor & EOS Implementer working across Australia & New Zealand, I’ve seen many different versions of family business success – and just as many near-misses.
Often, the families I work with are deeply committed to their legacy. They want to preserve what the founding generation built. They care about the wellbeing of their team. They want to create something sustainable for the next generation.
But despite all that good intent, many of them end up in conflict, confusion or stagnation. Not because of external threats – but because of something subtler, and much more dangerous:
Unspoken assumptions.
The Most Common Assumptions in Family Businesses
Assumptions are the silent killers of alignment. They hide in plain sight, masquerading as shared understanding – but they’re often completely inaccurate. Here are a few I hear regularly:
· “Everyone knows I’m taking over.”
· “We’ve always split things evenly – it’ll be the same this time.”
· “Dad said he trusts us to make decisions… but then he steps in & takes control.”
· “Mum’s retired now – she won’t get involved anymore.”
· “My brother doesn’t want to be involved – he hasn’t said otherwise.”
These assumptions are rarely voiced. They’re based on family dynamics, not business logic. And left unchecked, they create resentment, power struggles & poor decision-making.
In some cases, they’re so deeply ingrained that no one even realises they’re assumptions – until something breaks.
The Underlying Problem: Blurred Boundaries Between Family, Ownership & Business
What makes family businesses so powerful is also what makes them fragile: the overlap between personal, financial & operational roles.
This is where the Harvard 3-Circle Model becomes such a powerful diagnostic tool. It separates the family business into three distinct systems:
1. Family – built on emotion, relationships & legacy
2. Ownership – focused on risk, return, governance & control
3. Business – focused on structure, performance, & operational execution
Each circle has its own priorities, rules & leadership expectations.
In healthy family businesses, these three systems are acknowledged, defined & structured.
In struggling ones, they’re blurred, ignored or dominated by one voice – often the founder.
A Real-World Case Study: Rebuilding Alignment in a 3rd-Generation Business
One of the family businesses I worked with was a third-generation manufacturing company in regional Australia. The two brothers in the business had stopped speaking. One assumed he was taking over as CEO. The other assumed they were sharing leadership equally. Neither had said it out loud.
Their mother – the founder’s widow – had officially retired. But she was still highly involved behind the scenes, weighing in through WhatsApp chats and subtle influence.
The ownership was equal, but the business structure wasn’t. The leadership expectations were completely misaligned. Resentment had built up over years – and now it was affecting performance, staff morale & succession planning.
Through EOS, we helped them untangle the mess:
· We used the Vision/Traction Organiser™ (V/TO™) to define a shared long-term vision, purpose & core values
· The Accountability Chart™ helped us define clear operational roles – based on function, not family title
· We facilitated a Same Page Meeting between the brothers & their mother, allowing them to finally surface years of miscommunication in a structured, respectful way
· Using the People Analyser™ & GWC™, we ensured that every person in a key role was the right person in the right seat
Over time, the business rebuilt trust – not just between family members, but also within the leadership team.
Today, they’re growing, profitable, and – most importantly – communicating.
Where EOS Helps: A Framework for Clarity, Alignment & Execution
EOS® – the Entrepreneurial Operating System® – is a practical, proven framework designed to help entrepreneurial businesses gain clarity, discipline & traction. In family businesses, EOS becomes even more powerful because it takes the emotion out of decision-making and brings objectivity to emotionally complex dynamics.
Here’s how EOS supports each of the three circles:
Family Circle
Tool: Same Page Meeting™
Helps family leaders align on values, vision & leadership expectations – before those conversations turn toxic.
Ownership Circle
Tool: Vision/Traction Organiser™ (V/TO™)
Allows owners to provide input into the long-term direction & values of the business – while respecting the operational authority of the leadership team.
Business Circle
Tools: Accountability Chart™, Level 10 Meeting™, People Analyser™, Rocks
Defines clear roles, creates weekly accountability, builds healthy communication, and ensures the right people are in the right seats.
EOS doesn’t make the tough conversations go away – it just gives families the structure to have them productively.
Final Thoughts: Structure Over Assumptions
If you’re part of a family business that’s experiencing friction, stagnation or emotional tension – take a closer look at what’s not being said.
In my experience, the most dangerous problems are the ones hiding behind polite smiles & old habits.
Family businesses don’t fall apart because they don’t care – they fall apart because they don’t challenge assumptions.
That’s what I help families do. And that’s where EOS delivers transformational impact.
Download the EOS tools for FREE here - FREE EOS Toolbox
Need help? Let’s talk about how EOS can bring clarity & structure to your family business transition. Email me on debra.chantry-taylor@eosworldwide.com
About the Author
Debra Chantry-Taylor is a Certified EOS Implementer, Family Business Advisor & Family 3-Circle Solution Guide.
With decades of experience working with family businesses, she helps leadership teams gain clarity, resolve conflict & build sustainable, scalable businesses. Having worked within large family businesses & coached hundreds of entrepreneurs, Debra understands the unique challenges family businesses face – and how to overcome them. Passionate about helping business owners lead better lives, she brings energy, insight & practical tools to every engagement.
