Written by Marina Skinner, Principal, Family Business Consultant at Generational Harmony.
This time of year tends to cover every aspect of being – exhausted to exhilarated and everything in between.
Whatever the year held for you, the weeks before year-end seem to have additional pressures, timelines, and expectations. The operational business side is fairly clear cut with policies and processes in place to ensure staff and family alike are on the same page to deliver on time. Years of experience provide insights on what to plan for in the lead up to the busy season; between customer demand and balancing the books there are always variables to contend with. I’m sure you get the picture.
Now as the year draws to a close, thoughts turn to just stopping, having a break and spending time with family. However, in family business it is rare to switch off. It is not uncommon to see tensions and unresolved issues spill over when everyone comes together. There are multiple case studies of matters bubbling to the top at family gatherings and creating disharmony. As in all families there are different personalities, strengths, weaknesses and perspectives that come into play.
Perhaps everyone gets along together and plays well, yet conversations arise that are best addressed in a different forum. A break from the business, and quiet time allow entrepreneurial minds to percolate new visions. Owners and leaders start to think about the future and what keeps them awake at night.
Remember the element of surprise or change to the status quo may not be well received and impact individuals who see this time as one to relax and recharge.
Communication is critical to manage and enhance family harmony. If past experience, or new members joining the family, have you concerned about Christmas lunch, take a leaf out of the books of successful family businesses.
A great place to start
Plan ahead and be sure to communicate in advance so everyone is aware. I find awareness is the first step to making changes.
Be prepared and start putting some steps in place, a plan if you will. Keep it simple. Aim for consensus on the ground rules if a matter comes up, that is not for the dinner table. It can be as easy as having an ‘agenda’ in a prominent spot that everyone knows about. Some families have a standing agenda on the side of the fridge that can be added to at any time. Then if a conversation comes up, give a gentle reminder to put it on the agenda.
Set a date, time and place in advance for a family meeting, so everyone knows that matters raised will be addressed. Be sure to follow through.
Family Meetings
A little bit of formality can go a long way. Here are some tips for holding effective meetings, especially when family is involved.
Know the purpose of the meeting and send an agenda so there are no surprises as to what the meeting is about. Nominate the length of the meeting and stick to it. You can always have another meeting if needed. It is better to have one or two matters discussed with a good result or actions, as family develop and grow in this forum. Success breeds success.
Set some rules on behaviours during a meeting to build mutual trust and respect.
Following are examples of rules to agree at the start of each meeting.
- Turn off mobile devices
- Be punctual
- Listen actively
- Share and participate
- Support and contribute
- Have an open and honest conversation
- Have one conversation at a time - avoid distracting side conversations
- Make one point at a time and support opinions with facts
- Be patient and open-minded - do not dismiss another person’s idea
- Respect each other
- Understand the boundaries. Be aware of and identify what “hat” you are wearing
- Make “I” statements. Don’t blame or attack; talk about how you feel and what you think
- Keep goals and objectives of the family and business uppermost. “What is best for the family and the business?”
- Keep calm
- Discuss Issues constructively - accept decisions reached through fair and appropriate processes.
The first family meeting can be the trickiest, so it can be helpful in the beginning to have an independent facilitator run the meeting. They will hold everyone accountable and ensure all family members are heard.
Great meetings take practice!
Discover how you can achieve more productive and effective meetings. Marina would love to hear about your Family Business needs, challenges, goals, and expectations. Every successful outcome starts with a conversation.
